Secret of the human soul

Do you ever give a gift and the reaction doesn't seem to be what you had hoped it would be?

Do you ever hear that someone you love dearly just doesn't feel loved even though you express it to them a lot and it puzzles you?

Do you ever speak words to encourage people only to have them push them away?

Do you ever give hugs or touch someone to let them know you care, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be received well or even help them feel any better?

Do you try to show love and support to someone by helping them with things in their daily lives but they still don't seem to recognize that you are doing it because you care?

I read a great book a few years ago called the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and it spoke to me.

The human soul's deepest longing is to feel loved and accepted for who they are, yet some try to express it to them but they just don't feel it. Why?

Because each of us speaks a different language of love that touches us in our deepest parts. If it isn't being offered to us in the way we recognize it, then we won't identify it when others are extending their love language to us which might be completely different than our own.

God told me a secret today. If I want to know how to make others feel loved, I need to observe how they love others. How they reach out and give of themselves. It will speak volumes to me what they are deeply longing for in their own souls without even having to ask. It might not be in the same way I do, but it is still very meaningful to them. By their expression of giving love, it is also an educator to outsiders of their own soul. They show what touches them the most. Even if it might not be in the same way we give love or want to receive love, it doesn't mean we can't learn another way for other people to feel love from us and do our best to educate others about ourselves if they are willing to 'listen'. The one's worth investing ourselves in are the one's who will listen.  Listen by observing what we do. Taking an interest in those things and acting upon them. I think the book is great to get our primary love languages in order, but we can be combinations of languages. The best way to learn isn't necessarily from a book or taking a quiz, its taking an active interest in observing other's speaking their love language. But to do that, we must be willing to set aside our own way of loving by actively observing other's instead of only thinking how 'we' would feel loved. That is a true act of service.  That is true unconditional love. :)


*I am adding on to this because a friend also reminded me that some are incapable of loving others due to emotional damage so it might make observing others difficult. So, I would think the best way to deal with these people would be to experiment with all the different types of love languages which actually can be found in the book, and try them all out to see which one's they respond to the most. Something will melt their heart eventually.

Here are the 5...you can do your own research after this...

Words of affirmation
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Gifts
Acts of service

Life is today, not in tomorrow.

God never ceases to amaze me when He speaks to me so clearly.

I usually post lessons from God on my Facebook page when He speaks to me. Then there are days like today when a limited post isn't enough to share all I have learned.

I take daily walks and that is my special time when I am in communion with Him. It starts out with me talking about what is currently happening in my life, how I feel about it, my concerns, my fears, my hopes, my disappointments and my hurts. There are some days when I just want to escape from what might be happening in the here and now and I was thinking about those times when sharing my heart with God. Its a matter of waiting for the future to happen. Then the message came clear to me.....

"Life is today. It is right now. Its all you have. Don't wait for tomorrow's hopes, dreams, desires, or even planned events that may never actually come.  It will rob you of life, which is always today in the here and now and there are so many gifts to experience in the moment.  Come out of yourself and experience life, and that more abundantly as I have promised you. You don't know what tomorrow may bring."

Then it happened...my senses awakened. Its like my surroundings lit up and came alive. God has been reminding me a lot recently to look around me and appreciate what I see and experience. Today it was even more prominent.

I walked by some trees that had the most incredible shade of cranberry leaves and all I could say was..."Wow" out loud. I noticed how intensely blue the sky was. The colors and different hues around me became brilliant. I saw lavender flowers and golden leaves with touches of oranges, browns and reds. Saddleback mountain was so clear as the backdrop of this beautiful scene.

I heard splashing and looked over the ledge and saw a girl down in the creek letting her dog run loose fetching sticks and bouncing around searching for fish and obviously experiencing their nudges..Ha ha! So cute! I noticed this all happening from a distance before I approached it, but what impressed me most was how the water captured the light of the sun and created the most incredible shade of a neon aqua with sparkling starbursts of light, almost like diamonds dancing on top of the water, as the dog splashed. I also walked by a couple of ladies stopped on the path....one was holding her dog on the leash and the other was crouched down looking at something in the bushes. When I got closer, I saw they were trying to lure a grey cat over to them who seemed to be enjoying its time exploring much more.

I also focused on the things I was hearing....The babbling brook just over the ledge of the path I walk on was so soothing..  The croaks of the frogs also made me feel like I was in the Bayou somewhere. The trees were rustling and leaves were crackling as the one's that fell moved across the pavement in the breeze. I always seem to have butterfly companions every time I am walking too, rain or shine. Several orange and black monarch butterflies and a few white ones who can do nothing but bring a sense of tranquility in their gentleness keep me company while I walk.

I encounter bicyclists on the path daily in their bright colors of their biking wear and helmets. Its so wonderful to see their smiles and to greet one another and think about what each of their lives must be like. There are others that walk who seem so melancholy. I always offer a smile and a greeting but also feel prompted to say a little prayer for them not knowing where their thoughts are in that moment. I even received a text on my walk today from a friend who expressed that they have been having some life challenges which brought upon me a sense of compassion. Yes, life in the moment is a beautiful thing.

Upon approaching the last legs of my walk today, I even enjoyed a bit of comedy. First, I noticed the "Halloween House" that I posted in a photo album on my Facebook, with its outrageously overdone decor was being transformed into a crazy Christmas commercial monstrosity. These people are serious! A bit further down, I looked up and noticed two different pairs of tennis shoes that have been thrown over the power lines hanging by their tied together shoe laces over by my apartment complex that have been there for months and months and months...Ha ha! It makes me laugh every time I see them imagining what the scenario must have been like. I would assume it included some very rambunctious teenagers. :) Coming back into my complex I could smell Thanksgiving leftovers being reheated by some of my neighbors which made for a delicious smelling aroma.

Before walking up the stairs I thanked God for such a wonderful experience today on my walk. I felt alive and felt like my life is full. I have struggled with many challenges in this past year, but there is still good in the every day moments of life. I feel so grateful. To really feel happy, I realize its a matter of slowing down, coming out of myself and living and experiencing the moment, experiencing people, experiencing the things we take for granted and miss when its right under our noses for us to enjoy every day. There is always something.

I believe loneliness is when we are buried inside our own thoughts and can only see what seems to be our heavy burdens and miss out on so much wonder..

We can enrich our daily lives by simply conversing with a stranger, listenting to a friend, and trying something completely new.

It is my vow to take the time to appreciate this life, each day, that God has so graciously given me. To love people with His unconditional love and to thank God for all His wonderful gifts and lessons and infinite wisdom that can be tapped into with a simple request of insight and healthy perspective.

Thank you God for life TODAY.

Amen :)