Secret of the human soul

Do you ever give a gift and the reaction doesn't seem to be what you had hoped it would be?

Do you ever hear that someone you love dearly just doesn't feel loved even though you express it to them a lot and it puzzles you?

Do you ever speak words to encourage people only to have them push them away?

Do you ever give hugs or touch someone to let them know you care, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be received well or even help them feel any better?

Do you try to show love and support to someone by helping them with things in their daily lives but they still don't seem to recognize that you are doing it because you care?

I read a great book a few years ago called the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and it spoke to me.

The human soul's deepest longing is to feel loved and accepted for who they are, yet some try to express it to them but they just don't feel it. Why?

Because each of us speaks a different language of love that touches us in our deepest parts. If it isn't being offered to us in the way we recognize it, then we won't identify it when others are extending their love language to us which might be completely different than our own.

God told me a secret today. If I want to know how to make others feel loved, I need to observe how they love others. How they reach out and give of themselves. It will speak volumes to me what they are deeply longing for in their own souls without even having to ask. It might not be in the same way I do, but it is still very meaningful to them. By their expression of giving love, it is also an educator to outsiders of their own soul. They show what touches them the most. Even if it might not be in the same way we give love or want to receive love, it doesn't mean we can't learn another way for other people to feel love from us and do our best to educate others about ourselves if they are willing to 'listen'. The one's worth investing ourselves in are the one's who will listen.  Listen by observing what we do. Taking an interest in those things and acting upon them. I think the book is great to get our primary love languages in order, but we can be combinations of languages. The best way to learn isn't necessarily from a book or taking a quiz, its taking an active interest in observing other's speaking their love language. But to do that, we must be willing to set aside our own way of loving by actively observing other's instead of only thinking how 'we' would feel loved. That is a true act of service.  That is true unconditional love. :)


*I am adding on to this because a friend also reminded me that some are incapable of loving others due to emotional damage so it might make observing others difficult. So, I would think the best way to deal with these people would be to experiment with all the different types of love languages which actually can be found in the book, and try them all out to see which one's they respond to the most. Something will melt their heart eventually.

Here are the 5...you can do your own research after this...

Words of affirmation
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Gifts
Acts of service